ONLINE THERAPY IN WASHINGTON STATE

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Heal From Attachment & Developmental Trauma

You Want To Feel Better & Grow

Have you been in talk therapy for months or years without deep, lasting transformative change? 

  • Do you feel easily overwhelmed and confused by emotions? 

  • Do you feel alone, invisible, and like no one understands your experiences?

  • Do you avoid conflict, disagreements, and find it hard to ask for what you want?

  • Do you manage feelings and thoughts by avoiding or distracting through things like working and keeping busy? 


I practice a form of therapy called IFS which facilitates deep, long lasting, growth, change and insight.

What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

  • IFS therapy stands for Internal Family Systems therapy.

  • It's a type of therapy that helps people understand and manage their different feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

  • The idea is that everyone has different parts of themselves, like an angry part or a sad part, and these parts can sometimes cause problems.

What Does IFS Help With?

  • Depression

  • Anxiety & Worry

  • Grief

  • Shame

  • Guilt

  • Stress

  • Self Esteem & Confidence

  • Trauma

  • Anger

  • Fear

  • Jealousy

  • Trust and mistrust

  • Chronic health issues and illness

Firefighters

  • Firefighters are parts that go into action after the exiles have been activated in order to calm the exiles or distract the system from them (dissociation).

  • Reactive (does something and automatically responds to a crisis through numbing).

  • Pros: Helps you avoid pain. Great at fixing or solving problems. Quick thinker. Problem solver.

  • Cons: Exhausting and tiring. Always on edge and hypervigliance. Hard to relax and feel calm. Hard to sit in silence and still. Always thinking or working.

  • Firefighters help us:

    • Push down overwhelming emotions, painful experiences, and memories.

    • Defend from potential harm, abuse, and overwhelming emotions.

  • Examples of firefighter parts:

    • Binge drinking

    • Binge eating

    • Restricting food

    • Over exercising

    • Over working

    • Watching Netflix for hours and hours to numb

    • Self harm

    • Suicidality

    • Sex addiction

    • Porn addiction

    • Work addiction

    • Problematic substance use

Managers

  • Your manager part helps you function on a daily basis in regards to making decisions, achieving goals, and organizing your life.

  • Pros: Your manager helps you get out of bed, brush you teeth, go to work, feed yourself, and pay the bills. Can help you become successful and productive.

  • Cons: Motivated through judgement, criticism, and demand. Exhausting and tiring. Avoids vulnerability and relies on self.

  • Managers are proactive (planning, delegating, future oriented).

  • Examples of manager parts

    • Manages your self image and how you look to prevent you from being judged by others

    • Manages your productivity and success so you won’t fail and be rejected

    • Manages how others perceive you by people pleasing and seeking validation so you won’t disappoint others

    • Manages others by taking care of other people constantly at the expense of yourself so you can get your needs of connection and love met

Exiles

  • Parts of you learned to hide and go away because of past experiences of rejection, trauma, and hurt.

  • Your exile part would like to be seen and recognized, but your protectors are worried this will cause overwhelm and chaos for you.

  • Pros: Wants connection, trusting, vulnerable, tender, sweet, kind, loving, innocent.

  • Cons: Scared, fearful, hides, doesn’t take up space, afraid to speak up, terrified of rejection and being disapppointed.

  • Common beliefs of exiles:

    • Shame (“I am bad”)

    • I’m too much

    • I’ll be abandoned or rejected

    • No one really understands me

    • I’m all alone

  • Examples of exiles

    • Being bullied and ridiculed for being different

    • Being punished for having and feeling emotions

    • Being ignored for asking for needs/wants

    • Criticized they were unloveable, not enough, worthless

    • Shamed for being sensitive and empathic

Legacy Burdens & Burdens

  • Burdens are extreme ideas or feelings that are carried by parts and govern their lives. Parts accrue burdens from exposure to an external person or event.

  • Legacy burdens are extreme ideas or feelings carried by parts through multiple generations (your parents, your grandparents, etc.).

  • Examples of burdens

    • Scarcity

    • Shame

  • Examples of legacy burdens

IFS Therapy Can Help You

✔️ Get to know all your parts and heal them

✔️ Become more comfortable with vulnerability

✔️ Increase access and availability to your emotions and feelings 

✔️ Feel less alone (and more connected with yourself and others you care about)

✔️ Feel more safe in your body (and understand the reactions and ways to manage them) 

✔️ Better understand why you do what you do (to interrupt unhelpful relationship and emotional cycles)

✔️ Create corrective emotional experiences (to heal from past experiences)

✔️ Trust more in others (and trust yourself)

Healing Is Possible

There is hope.

I am Level 1 trained Seattle based trauma and couples therapist specializing in Internal Family Systems (IFS).

I enjoy working with survivors of childhood trauma, emotional neglect, grief, and attachment/developmental trauma.

I’ve worked with many survivors of childhood, attachment, and developmental trauma who now have more peace, joy, freedom in their lives.

I work with survivors of trauma who are now parents who want to parent healthier children and break the cycle of trauma.

I work with therapists and social workers who are wounded healers.

I work with professionals who feel exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out, and want to take better care of themselves.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation.

Still Have Questions?

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Beginning therapy is the hardest step.

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