Finding the right therapist can feel like a never ending, exhausting, anxiety-inducing process, and it’s critical to find the right fit so you feel comfortable opening up and do the healing work.

While it is impossible to find the “perfect” therapist who shares all your identities and experiences, it is crucial to feel seen and supported by a therapist who prioritizes and actively works toward providing culturally affirming care.

The goal is not to find the “perfect” or “best” therapist, but to find someone who you feel comfortable with and has adequate training to help guide you on your healing journey.

Your therapist also has to feel like it’s a good fit for them, has adequate training for your concerns, and that they can help you on your healing journey.

Sometimes, you may like the therapist, but for whatever reason, it might not be a reciprocal good fit for your therapist.

Click here to read Self Empowerment: How to choose a mental health professional.

Click here to read What to Expect From your Licensed Therapist.

Some things to consider during your therapist journey:

IDENTITY

Is it important for me to find someone with some of my identities?

• Age

• Race

• Ethnicity

• Religion/Faith

• Sexuality

• Gender

• Immigration

• Class

• Veteran

• Parent

• In recovery

• And more

QUESTIONS TO ASK THERAPISTS

• What experience do you have working with someone who looks like me/has my identities/with my social group/etc.?

• How do you think racism/sexism/homophobia/transphobia/classism/ageism/etc. impacts mental health and well being?

• How do you engage with difference?

• How do you practice culturally responsive therapy? How do you define culturally responsive therapy?

GUT

• If I listen to my gut or natural instinct, what does it tell me?

• How do I feel when I sit with the therapist?

TRUST

• Do I feel like I can trust this person and tell them more about deeper parts of me?

LOCATIONS

• Is it mandatory to have therapy in person?

• Or am I open to telehealth?

SCHEDULE

• Do I need a specific time slot (e.g. weekends only, after 5:00 p.m.)?

• Or am I flexible with when my appointments are?

FEES

• What’s my monthly maximum budget for therapy?

• Do I want to use my in network insurance?

• Or can I pay out of pocket/cash?

STYLE & APPROACH

• This is the therapeutic style/orientation of the therapist.

QUESTIONS TO ASK

• Do I want a more stoic, reserved, silent type of therapist who will occasionally nod, and provide me ample space to talk?

• Do I want a more active, directive, and casual therapist who will talk with me?

• Do I want a therapist who will sometimes interject, give me their thoughts, and offer me another perspective on what is happening, and what could be helpful?

• Do I want a therapist who will set the structure and agenda for therapy?

• Do I want to lead the session and bring up what I want to talk about?

• Do I want a therapist who is depth-oriented (e.g. focus on my past and childhood), a present-focused therapist (e.g. solution focused therapy, skills building, the here-and-now), or a mix of both?

Types Of Theoretical Orientations

AKA how a therapist views a client’s problem/issues and how they can be resolved).

This can include:

• Narrative Therapy

• Emotionally Focused Therapy

• Humanistic Therapy

• Existential Therapy

• Gestalt Therapy

• Interpersonal Therapy

• Relational Cultural Theory/Therapy

• Feminist Therapy

• Liberation Psychology

• Motivational Interviewing

• Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

• Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)

• Trauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

• Prolonged Exposure (PE)

• DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)

• Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT)ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

• Psychodynamic Therapy

• Psychoanalytic Therapy

• Psychoanalysis

• Solution Focused Therapy

• Schema Therapy

• Transference Focused Therapy

• Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

• And more

TRAINING

• Are the issues and concerns I’m seeking help for require in depth training, experience, and education?

This might include:

• ADHD

• OCD

• PTSD

• Trauma

• Suicidal ideation

• Self harm

• Substance use

• Eating disorders

• Gender affirming care

• Psychosis

• Bipolar disorder

• Personality disorders

• Social Anxiety

• Generalized Anxiety

• Major Depression

• And more

Ask People You Trust

• Ask friends, family, and trusted people for their experiences in therapy.

• Ask them where they found their therapist and what the process was like.

Insurance Directories

• Log onto your insurance plan portal and find therapists based on your zip code/location.

• Call the company and ask to speak with an agent who is legally required to find you 1-2 therapists with openings.

• Send the company a written message with your request.

• If a therapist does not accept insurance, but you want to work with them, you can ask your insurance company if you might get reimbursed for out-of-network reimbursements (e.g. pay up front first, seek possible reimbursement later).

• In addition to clarifying benefits with your insurance company, a helpful resource for out-of-network reimbursement is Reimbursify.

Washington State Based Directories

• Click here for a list of directories.

Nationwide Directories

• Psychology Today

• Therapy Den

• Zen Care

• Mental Health Match

• Good Therapy

• Therapy Tribe

• The Shrink Space (For College Students)

• Click here for a list of directories.

Online Search

• Conduct an online search of keywords such as trauma therapy Seattle, anxiety therapy Spokane, online therapy in Washington State, Premera therapists Bellingham.

1. Therapy is a highly personal experience. Your friend may really enjoy on type of therapy or type of therapist, and you may not. Not all therapists will be a good fit for your needs, concerns, and goals.

2. Meet with a few therapists for an initial 10-15 minute consultation to “shop around” and see who you seem to like/vibe with the most. However, some therapists may not offer a consultation. If they don’t, review their website to get a feel for their practice, personality, and approach.

3. If you are unsure after one session, either consider a different therapist or set up a follow-up session to clarify your concerns. Do not feel pressured to stay with one therapist.

4. Even if a therapist has specialized training and extensive experience in what you are seeking, you may not be a good fit due to factors such as personality differences, communication styles, cultural differences, etc.

5. There are so many types of therapy and therapists out there. As a consumer of therapy, you can do your due diligence and educate yourself on what your rights are and what to expect (see below for more information).

6. Look out for red flags in therapists. This can include: sexual advances, trying to be your friend, being repeatedly late, making sessions all about them and not you, and so forth.

7. Try to stick with therapy at least for 3-6 months. It takes time for thoughts, feelings, and experiences to metabolize and make more sense. These are deeply entrenched patterns you are living with and attempting to alter and change. Practice patience.

8. Take a break as needed and communicate this need with your therapist. Healing is non linear.

9. Be as honest as possible with your therapist with what is working, what is not working, and whatever else you might not want to bring up. Feedback is helpful and a good therapist will value this feedback (even if it is not positive).

10. Try out different types of therapists based on context (e.g. time and place in your life). You might need a different type of therapist during school. Another type of therapist as you are looking for a job. Another type of therapist as you are in a long term relationship. And a different type of therapist when a sudden shift or adjustment occurs in life.

11. There are no guarantees counseling will solve all problems, or how quickly changes will occur. There are no miracle cures, but it improves the odds, particularly if you start early.

TLDR (TOO LONG, DIDN’T READ)

• Trust your gut. If you feel like you have a vibe, can trust, and like your therapist, that’s a good initial sign.

• Therapy is a collaborative relationship so starting with trust, safety, and comfort is important.

• Therapy is not a miracle cure and requires patience, hard work in and outside of therapy, reaching for the truth, and this can sometimes lead to very uncomfortable feelings and changes.

• I also encourage you to read What You Can Expect From Your Counselor or Associate from the Washington Department of Health who license mental health counselors, social workers, and marriage and family therapists.