Common Core Beliefs of Trauma Survivors

Written By Canh Tran

What Are Core Beliefs?

  • Core beliefs are usually absolute/binary ways of thinking about ourselves, others, or the world.

  • A negative core belief is a broad, negative, and generalized judgement you have made about yourself,
    based on some previous negative experiences (childhood, past relationship, past work experience, life experiences)

  • Core beliefs can shift gradually but become more stable and stronger over time.

  • Core beliefs help us to make sense of our world by organizing experiences into familiar patterns.

Core Beliefs Contribute To Our Sense of Self (Self esteem, Self love, Self worth, Self acceptance

  • Changing negative core beliefs we have about ourselves contributes to a higher sense of Self

  • It is possible to have healthier, effective, realistic, and helpful beliefs about ourselves

  • It’s an ongoing process and lifelong journey to continue challenge our negative core beliefs

Negative & Unhelpful Core Beliefs of Trauma Survivors

Survivors of trauma experience extraordinary or adverse experiences that should not occur. These experiences are violent, abusive, neglectful, and/or oppressive leaving survivors feeling terror, panic, shame, guilt, angry, grief, and sad.

In turn, unhelpful beliefs about the world can begin forming as a way to make sense of what occurred and to prevent such experiences from occurring again (defense/protective mechanism).

However, these thoughts keep survivors “stuck” in a loop of avoidance, fear, worry, anxiety, and hypervigilance.

Responsibility (I Am)

  1. I don’t deserve love

  2. I am a bad person

  3. I am terrible

  4. I am worthless 

  5. I am inadequate

  6. I am shameful 

  7. I am not loveable

  8. I am not good enough

  9. I deserve only bad things

  10. I am damaged

  11. There is something wrong with me

  12. I am ugly

  13. I do not deserve …

  14. I am dumb and stupid 

  15. I am not important 

  16. I am a disappointment

  17. I deserve to die

  18. I deserve to be unhappy

  19. I am different

  20. I do not belong

Responsibility (I Did Something Wrong…)

  1. I should have done something…

  2. I did something wrong…

  3. I should have known better…

Safety & Vulnerability

  1. I cannot be trusted

  2. I cannot trust myself 

  3. I cannot trust my judgement 

  4. I cannot trust anyone 

  5. I cannot protect myself 

  6. I am in danger

  7. It’s not okay to feel my emotions

  8. It’s not okay to show my emotions 

  9. I cannot stand up for myself

Control & Choice

  1. I am not in control 

  2. I am powerless 

  3. I am helpless

  4. I am weak

  5. I cannot get what I want

  6. I am a failure 

  7. I will fail

  8. I cannot succeed 

  9. I have to be perfect 

  10. I have to please everyone 

  11. I cannot stand it

  12. I cannot trust anyone 


Moving To Positive Core Beliefs

One of the goals of trauma therapy is to move these negative beliefs to a more positive or helpful belief system (restructuring) or to accept them (defusion)

  • I deserve love

  • I am worthy

  • I am lovable

  • I deserve food things

  • I deserve to live

  • I did the best I could

  • I can be trusted

  • I can trust my judgement

  • I am safe now

  • I can make my needs known

  • I have choices

  • I am in control now

  • I can succeed

  • I can make mistakes

  • I can handle things 

  • I am capable 

  • I can choose who to trust

Common Unhelpful Ways of Thinking

  • All or nothing

    • Binary thoughts - yes/no, good/bad, love/hate, always/never

  • Labeling

    • I’m so dumb, I’m stupid, I’m worthless

  • Mind reading

    • I already know what you’re thinking and how you’ll react

  • Discounting the positives

    • Only focusing on negatives

  • Catastrophic thinking

    • Worst case scenarios

What Prevents Trauma Survivors From Moving To Helpful Core Beliefs

  • Our Society

    • Systems of oppression like racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, ableism, xenophobia, transphobia and more cause trauma

  • Minimizing 

    • It wasn’t that bad

  • Comparison

    • Other people have it worse

    • Oppression Olympics

  • Denying

    • It didn’t happen

    • I don’t remember much of it anyways

  • Avoidance 

    • We are hardwired to avoid pain and discomfort

    • Therefore, avoidance is a natural way for us to protect ourselves

  • Self protective skills/tools 

    • Protecting others

      • I don’t want others to think poorly of my family

      • I don’t want others to think poorly of my partner

    • Protecting ourselves

      • I’m doing the best I can and these are the skills I like using

      • These skills work for me short-term, but not long term

    • Survival mechanisms

      • Scarcity

      • Worry

      • Anxiety

      • Panic

      • Always on alert

      • Hypervigilance

      • Feeling unsafe

Why Core Beliefs Are Important

  • How we see ourselves

    • And our ability to trust

    • And our ability to receive love

    • And our ability to keep ourselves safe

    • And our relationship to control and power

    • And our relationship to vulnerability

  • How we see others

    • Strangers

    • Co-workers

    • Family members

  • How we navigate the world 

    • Being spontaneous vs. planning all details and wanting 100% structure

    • Avoidance of certain stimuli (e.g. smell, people, environment)

    • Isolating ourselves vs. going out and spending time outside

    • Enjoying our lives to the fullest vs. constantly being worried and anxious about what could happen out of our control

  • How we show up in relationships 

    • At home

    • At work

    • With family

    • In friendships

    • With our kids

    • With parents

Power & Control (From Cognitive Processing Therapy)

  • Power and Control Beliefs Related to SELF: Beliefs that you can solve problems and meet challenges that you may face.

  • Negative

    • If you grew up experiencing repeated negative events, you may have developed the belief that you cannot control events or solve problems even if they are controllable/ solvable. A new traumatic event may seem to confirm prior beliefs about helplessness.

  • Positive

    • If you grew up believing that you had control over events and could solve problems, the traumatic event may have disrupted those beliefs.

  • Symptoms Associated with Negative Power/Control Beliefs about the Self

    • Numbing of feelings

    • Avoidance of emotions

    • Chronic passivity

    • Hopelessness and depression

    • Self-destructive patterns

    • Outrage when you are faced with events that are out of your control, or with people who do not behave as you would like

  • Examples of Possible Stuck Points

    • “Because I can’t be completely in control, I might as well be out of control.”

    • “The traumatic event wouldn’t have happened if I had had better control over it.”

    • “I need to be perfect to be in control.”

    • “If I lose complete control over my emotions, something bad will happen.”

Read more modules here

How Do I Learn To Speak Kinder To Myself?

  • Tracking Bodily Awareness

    • What’s happening internally for me right now?

    • How do I feel?

    • If I can’t name a feeling, what are the sensations?

    • Is this sensation pleasant or unpleasant?

    • Is this sensation prickly or soft? Warm or cold?

  • Naming Your Emotions

    • I feel sad

    • I feel scared

    • I feel angry

    • I feel guilty

  • Slowing Down & Being Curious

    • Instead of rushing

    • Automatic thoughts are thoughts

    • Instead of responding automatically to our thoughts with judgement and criticism, we can be curious

  • Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts

    • What’s the evidence for this?

    • What are other ways of looking at this thought?

  • Accepting Unhelpful Thoughts

    • Instead of eliminating or attempting to change our thoughts/beliefs, we can accept and learn to live with our thoughts.

    • If this thought was true, what would happen?

    • How would I get through this experience?

    • How have I managed past experiences?

  • Accepting Ourselves & Living A Life Aligned With Our Values

    • The goal is not only acceptance of all our complex beliefs/thoughts, but to live a life where our behaviors/actions align with our values and best hopes in life.

    • When we accept ourselves just as we are, powerful shifts can occur because there may be less resistance to whatever is already here.

    • Values are guiding stars connecting us to what really matters in this world.

    • Values can include:

      • Connection

      • Joy

      • Love

      • Knowledge

      • Security

      • Peace

      • Honesty

      • Simplicity

  • Decreasing Avoidance

    • Challenging yourself to do things that are uncomfortable slowly (gradual exposure)

  • Self & Community Care

    • Taking good care of yourself (individual or self)

    • Reaching out to others you care and trust (community or others)

    • Connecting and reconnecting to spiritual, cultural, familial customs/beliefs/care/healing rituals

  • Gratitude

    • Expressing gratitude for what you have

    • Expressing gratitude for where you presently are

    • Start with 1-2 items of gratitude per day in the morning (write it down, say it out, look at yourself in the mirror)

  • Celebrating Yourself

    • Stepping into your power and increasing your self esteem

    • Taking ownership of your successes and areas of growth

    • Leaning into the positive and pleasant feelings

    • Accepting compliments and positive feedback

  • Practice Assertive Communication & Healthy Boundaries

    • Saying no if you don’t want to do something

    • Respecting yourself while respecting others

  • Self Compassion

    • How would I treat a friend?

    • How would a friend treat me?

    • What would a friend tell me?

  • Inner Child Work

    • Reflecting on how we would treat ourselves if we were a child believing these thoughts/beliefs.

    • How would we talk to this child?

    • How would we treat this child?

    • What would this child be feeling?

    • What would this child be thinking?

    • What would this child ideally yearn and desire for?

    • What does this child need from us to trust us more and feel more safe?

    • What past history of experiences contributes to this child believing they are X or not X (core beliefs)?

  • Therapy

    • Seeking out a professional trained in trauma

Resources

Canh Tran
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