Stages of Healing From Childhood Trauma
Healing from trauma is a deeply personal and complex journey that requires patience, support, and understanding.
Recognizing the stages involved in this process can help individuals better navigate their healing and empower them to make positive changes in their lives.
Understanding these stages can provide a roadmap for individuals seeking to reclaim their well-being and move towards a healthier future.
What is Childhood Trauma?
Childhood trauma happens when a child experiences a distressing or harmful event.
These events can be big, like a natural disaster or violence, or they can be ongoing, like abuse or neglect. Sometimes, even seemingly smaller events can have a big impact on a child's emotional well-being.
Examples of Childhood Trauma
Physical abuse
Sexual abuse
Verbal abuse
Emotional abuse (what happens to you)
Emotional neglect (what doesn't happen to you, the absence of something that’s necessary)
Sudden loss or death
Sudden separation
Being in foster care
Bullying
Growing up in poverty
Growing up in a violent neighborhood
Experiencing systemic discrimination like racism
And more
What Are The Costs/Effects of Childhood Trauma?
Trauma can affect a child's brain and emotions, and it can stay with them for a long time.
Imagine if you dropped a rock into a pond – the ripples keep spreading long after the rock hits the water.
Similarly, childhood trauma can create ripples that affect a person's life as they grow up.
What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?
These experiences are events or situations that can happen during childhood and have a significant impact on a person's life, both during childhood and well into adulthood.
ACEs can come in different forms, and they are often stressful or harmful events that occur when we are young. Researchers have identified ten major ACEs, but the most common ones include:
Examples of Healing From Childhood Trauma
I’m more able to define what healing and recovery looks like for me, my life, my values, and what I most desire
I understand recovery and healing is different for everyone and there is no one way to heal
I have more hope about possibilities of what could be
I allow myself to grieve for the past I never had
I allow myself feel and process my anger, frustration, and rage for all of the unfair experiences I went through and still go through
I’m more in touch with my bodily sensations and feelings
I’m less on guard/scared/hypervigilant/tense/armored
I have more access to previous past memories I blocked out and forgot about
I understand there is not a “normal” because “normal” doesn’t exist
I compare myself less to others
I judge/demand/criticize/shame/guilt myself less
I treat myself with more ease, calm, love, joy, and compassion
I am more able to reparent the little kid/child inside of me that hurts/is wounded/in pain
I understand I can never get rid of my trauma, yet I can learn to manage it
I avoid/distract/numb less
I confront/name/feel/process more
I feel less broke/weird/different
I feel more calm/collected/at ease/peaceful/confident/worthy
I’m more honest with myself
I’m more able to practice self compassion
I allow myself to feel good at times
I allow myself to accept compliments at times
I allow myself to slow down at times
I’m more able to be present (rather than going back to the past or to the future)
I’m more able to tolerate uncertainty, the future, the unknown, not having answers, and ambiguity
I’m more able to accept what is in my control
I’m more able to accept what is not in my control
I’m more able to reflect rather than react, especially under moments of overwhelm
I’m more able to name my emotions
I’m more able to feel and process my emotions
I’m more able to manage overwhelming feelings
I’m more able to ask for what I need (rather than wanting others to assume/read my mind) with more confidence
I’m more able to manage overwhelming thoughts
I’m more able to notice when I spiral and ruminate
I’m more able to identify my triggers
I can better manage my flashbacks
I’m more able to self soothe/take good care of myself when I’m triggered
I practice the skills/tools I’ve learned consistently to take good care of myself to practice prevention vs. intervention
I remind myself I have different parts/dimensions of me that I am always learning about
I understand healing is a lifelong journey and not a one time path/destination
And more
What Are The Stages of Healing From Childhood Trauma?
01. Awareness & Acknowledgment
The first stage of healing from trauma begins with awareness.
It involves acknowledging and accepting the existence of trauma and its impact on your life.
This stage may involve recognizing and validating your emotions, experiences, and their connection to the trauma.
Some people are unaware their childhood trauma impacts their issues in the present day. They may even attribute their issues to something else like their personality, temperament, or attitude.
02. Education of Childhood Trauma
Childhood trauma refers to experiences of abuse, neglect, or other adverse events that occur during childhood. These traumatic experiences can have significant and long-lasting effects on a person's physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.
Over the past few decades, awareness of childhood trauma and its impact has increased significantly. This increased awareness has been driven by research findings, advocacy efforts, and the sharing of personal stories by survivors.
Understanding the effects of childhood trauma is crucial because it can have a profound impact on an individual's development and overall functioning.
Research has shown that childhood trauma can lead to a wide range of physical and mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse, self-harm, and relationship difficulties. It can also affect cognitive development, academic performance, and social skills.
03. Considering Change (Ambivalence)
The ambivalence stage is marked by mixed emotions and conflicting thoughts about making changes.
Individuals may feel torn between holding onto familiar patterns and seeking a path to healing. It's essential to acknowledge and validate these feelings without judgment.
This stage requires self-reflection and awareness to recognize the impact of childhood trauma on one's life.
04. Preparation
Preparation is a crucial stage that involves gathering resources, developing coping strategies, and building a support system.
During this stage, individuals identify specific areas they want to address and begin planning for change.
This may include seeking professional therapy, researching trauma-informed practices, establishing self-care routines, and building a network of supportive relationships.
Preparation empowers individuals to lay a solid foundation for the upcoming changes and strengthens their commitment to healing.
05. Action
The action stage represents a significant turning point in the healing journey. It involves implementing the changes and strategies identified during the preparation stage.
Individuals actively engage in trauma-focused therapy, self-exploration, and developing healthy coping mechanisms.
It's crucial to create a safe space for yourself, where you can explore your feelings without judgment. Seeking professional help from therapists or support groups can be immensely beneficial during this stage, as they provide guidance and expertise in navigating the complexities of trauma.
This stage requires courage, perseverance, and resilience, as it may involve confronting painful memories and challenging emotions.
Progress may be gradual, and setbacks are normal, but consistent effort and determination lead to meaningful changes and personal growth.
06. Maintenance
The maintenance stage is characterized by actively engaging in self-care, coping strategies, and healthy lifestyle choices.
It involves developing and implementing tools and techniques that promote emotional, physical, and psychological well-being.
This stage may include therapy sessions, practicing mindfulness and relaxation techniques, engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and prioritizing healthy relationships.
Consistency and perseverance are key during this stage, as it requires ongoing efforts to nurture and maintain your well-being.
07. Change & Recovery
The change stage signifies the transformative phase of healing from trauma. It involves integrating the insights gained from the previous stages into your daily life, resulting in positive changes.
This stage may include developing healthier coping mechanisms, setting boundaries, cultivating self-compassion, and building resilience.
It's important to celebrate small victories and acknowledge the progress made along the way.
Embracing change requires embracing growth and the understanding that healing is a continuous process.
08. Relapse
Relapse, though often seen as a setback, is a common part of the healing process. It is crucial to understand that healing is not linear, and setbacks are natural occurrences.
Often times, trauma can be dormant for months or years until a trigger occurs and relapse occurs. This can include: a major life transition like moving to a new city, starting a new job, experiencing a death or loss, increased stressors, or a change in health or illness.
When this occurs, trauma can re-emerge
Relapse provides an opportunity for reflection, learning, and readjustment. It's important to approach relapse with self-compassion and utilize the support system built during the preparation stage.
By recognizing triggers, identifying patterns, and seeking help when needed, individuals can emerge stronger and more resilient on their healing journey.
These stages are not necessarily sequential and can occur multiple times throughout the healing process.
By recognizing the significance of each stage and embracing them with compassion and resilience, individuals can make meaningful progress towards healing.
Remember, healing takes time and effort, but with support, self-reflection, and a commitment to change, survivors of childhood trauma can reclaim their lives and create a brighter future filled with hope and resilience.
Resources