Common Sabotaging Tactics In Romantic Relationships

1. Expecting perfection

   1. Nobody is perfect

   2. Perfection does not exist

   3. Human beings are flawed and imperfect

2. Lack of acceptance for what is (who the person is, who you are, etc.)

   1. Denial

   2. Projection

3. Having unrealistic expectations

   1. Perfectionism

   2. Fantasizing

   3. Idealizing

4. Nitpicking your partner

5. Stonewalling or silence

6. Yelling and screaming at your partner

7. Allowing your insecure thoughts to run the relationship

8. Compulsively lying

9. Internalizing thoughts and feelings

10. Difficulty discussing internal thoughts and feelings

11. Fear of intimacy and physical touch

12. Fear of commitment

13. Consistent jealousy

14. Needing consistent and constant control

15. Gaslighting

16. Threats and ultimatums

17. Using black and white/binary words

    1. You never

    2. You always

    3. You have to

    4. You should

18. Low self esteem and worth

    1. Tearing yourself down

    2. Self criticism

    3. Self demand

    4. Self judgement

    5. Self disgust

19. Consistent anxiety

    1. Worry about the relationship

    2. Worry the person will cheat on you

    3. Worry you are unworthy

    4. Worry and concern why someone would be with you versus others

20. Not doing one’s personal work and healing and letting it interfere in the relationship

    1. Not asking for help

    2. Not going to therapy

    3. Not being open to change

    4. Not being open to growth

    5. Not being open to healing

21. And more